Is my life worth anything?
I pondered this thousands of times during the beginning of deportations in January as I was abandoned, alone, left to face the state at 20 years old. I wondered -- how was it that I had struggled alongside these comrades, spent time in jail with them, wrote and worked on campaigns and events with them -- and still, I thought: did anyone cared if I died? Did anyone cared if I was beaten and abused? Did anyone cared if ICE took me?
This, to me, was the rotting carcass of organizing exposed: liberal organizations that presented a veneer of love and support but abandoned their comrades at their most vulnerable, and in my situation, allowed my life to hang in the balance as it meant nothing.
Perhaps one can critique me for "self-deporting", but I argue, what was I to do -- conflicted between choosing Zionist America and fascist India? Which state would I allow to brutalize me? Which one would I allow to deny me of my humanity -- the imperial core where ICE was lurking on every corner or the colonial power occupying my homeland? Would I choose the imperialist Zionist Amerikan entity or the Indian nation that killed over a million of my people? This was the position organizing leadership placed me in, a burden I had to navigate largely on my own with a lack of infrastructure.
Where were the so-called organizing "elders" community members in their thirties and forties, who were supposed to protect me? Where was the promise of "resistance" and "resilience" that these organizations constantly boasted of, plastered all across their social media and statements, but could not raise a single finger in my defense, could not offer me protection? What was the worth of their so-called radicalism when the best they could offer was legal aid -- does legality prevent undocumented communities from being brutalized? Does legality defend undocumented migrants from rape by ICE agents? Lastly, how long will legality last in the decaying rot of America before it is too late for us to realize that the only thing we can rely on is each other?
Comrades -- despite the ineffectivity of organizing leadership, despite my anger and sorrow at being abandoned, do not be disheartened. There are still principled people in every cause and in every movement -- I am forever grateful to the ones who comforted me as we attempted to reform and restructure our movement, the comrades who hid me and helped me run, the comrades who continue to support me from afar, and to the comrades who read this and are emboldened to become more principled for our movement.
Organizers have already demonstrated tremendous courage in mobilizing against ICE -- most recently the action carried out where community members mobilized to delay the kidnapping of immigrants by 20 minutes. Just a few dozen comrades faced off against federal agents and ICE -- imagine the proper mobilization of hundreds of people.
We are capable of far more -- of shutting down ICE detainment facilities, rescuing undocumented community members from the clutches of ICE, and building a sustainable infrastructure that protects our communities from state violence.
If you are in any way influenced by my words -- I ask that you do not focus on me as an individual or carrying out another pointless rally that resembles a parade more than a protest -- but in meaningfully building infrastructure and supporting undocumented community members in fighting ICE.
It is important to always hold hope in every situation -- that there is always the ability to salvage even the most disparate of situations. The Palestinians have fought against history's most powerful empire and prevailed many times over -- if they are capable of winning, then so are we. There is no doubt in my heart that as long as there are people who care, who are committed to changing -- the movement will wake up from its slumber, sharpen its teeth, and destroy capitalist tyranny.
Part 4 coming soon.